Sassafrass

Who really tests beauty products before using them?

Not me. And I have the equivalent of a bad sunburn on the lower half of my face to prove it.

Years ago, a friend of my mom's had a violent reaction to an inocuous beauty product -- lotion or moisturizer or sunscreen -- and ended up in the emergency room with hives and horribleness. My mom told me the story in warning over the phone, and I swear I could feel the whoosh! of her finger waving past me, even from a miles away. 

I've had that stern voice in my head every time I've caught a glance of -- and ignored -- the warnings plastered to the sides of boxes of the many, many products I've slathered on my skin and hair and nails in the years since. 

I really should do that 24-hour patch-test thingy, I tell myself guiltily. 

And then I rip open the seventeen layers of plastic wrapping and glop it all over my parched/sensitive/super-fair/broken-out/petrie dish lab experiment skin.

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a kickass new video show for single mamas!

I had Wonder Woman Underoos when I was a kid. They had a half-camisole that I pretended was a bra until I really did wear one (freshman year -- shut up). I felt powerful wearing garb like hers. My cup-size  and Wonder Woman accessories expanded as my life did. I have a giant gold bracelet that snaps shut with a CLANG! and is so gawdy, it surely hold super-powers. I've had knee-highs and bustiers, not WW-branded but certainly a nod to my favorite high-heel-booted truth-teller with luxurious chestnut locks. 

I'm channeling that spirit (and definitely a lasso of truth) with my latest project: A video series for single moms.

It's hosted on Babble.com and is called (oh, you will love this) One-Der Woman: The Single Mom's Guide to Happiness. 

Do me a favor and resist the temptation to call it One-Durrrr Woman or similar. And ignore my kid, who said, "If it is about you as a single mom PLUS your child, shouldn't it really be called TWO-DER WOMAN?"

Frankly, he has a point. And as much as I would love the bosom-heaving costumery of making this more TUDOR, I will stick to the bosom=heaving costumery of WONDER.

I will be sharing quick tips and field-tested advice on finding little moments of happiness, health and humor in the craziness of being a single mama. Other parents are welcome to tune in, too, of course. I will be sharing advice twice a month and keep you updated on the ONE-DER here.

So if you see me sailing by, seemingly sitting on air up above, wave quietly. I am probably filming a new episode. 

NOT CONVINCED YET?

In the debut episode of One-Der Woman, I do it right — with weird lighting and by showing my panties!

I’m not kidding. I justify the weird lighting because ladies of a certain age often want to crank down the fluorescence when panties are flashed.

So, please, click play. Laugh. Cry. Press play again. Follow my good advice because it works. I’ll bet my star-spangled shorts on it.

What would you like to see me cover? Have advice or questions or hilarious stories? Share them with me at onederwomanshowATgmailDOTcom.

 

Sassafam Christmas, in pictures

 

50 family resolutions for 2013

I love the idea of hitting the reset button as a new year rings in. I love taking a moment to look around at my family and friends and career and desk and packed-full storage space and think about what I could be doing better and what is just fine as it is, at least for another year. And I do love lists, big ideas, seemingly silly dreams and plans.

But what I don't love are the resolutions that keep me tied to an overwhelming new schedule, a weight scale or obligations that don't feel right. A challenge is great, a chore is not. So this year, we are holding fast to the spirit of resolutions -- reaching toward our better selves -- and letting go of the pressure. 

Oh, yes, I said we. I am hooking my little family into this with a jar full of moments to share throughout 2013 to help us spend time together, laugh more, hug harder, keep tidier, run around often and maybe even tackle that storage space.

Here are 50 of our family resolutions for 2013.

{Up now on GalTime}