It always comes before I feel ready. But here it is, another year. Here we are, another little family who wants more time together, bigger laughs, less rush, fewer arguments, hearts plentiful with love and hugs and security. Here I am, another mother who tears up to have one amazing kid, a phenomenal Not Boyfriend, an expanding and hilarious and generous family, friends who I can't see enough of as time ticks on.
My list of wants for 2013 is long, like most parents. Lazy Sunday afternoons. An unending supply of good coffee. Financial security. A long enough vacation on warm sands near the ocean. Enough upcoming Taylor Swift hits to keep us dancing in the car. Work that fulfills, food that fuels, more time than excuses to exercise.
But no matter what I want or wish for, what is right here is pretty great. I can't forget that. I promise I don't. Especially as the room darkens and the boy's breathing eases into sleep. As I turn over in my own bed and graze the arm of the man I love near mine. As I hold my breath to look at my bank account and another writing offer comes in. As I lock doors and open cabinets and run hot water in the tub in a home that is safe and filled and relatively calm.
I guess that makes us ready. For more? Maybe. For less? There is always that possibility. For exactly what is now? Absolutely.
We're here and waiting 2013. Smiling, mostly. And together, pretty much always.