We've moved on from the choreographed dance just in time for me to actually remember all the steps. There's no time to waste picking boa feathers from your sticky neck! We are on to thigh-highs.
We did our normal warm-up full of excrutiatingly sensual moves and floor work and then turned our attention and the last half of the class to the removal of thigh-highs during a performance (private or otherwise). We learned a few tricks for extending the leg to make a beautiful line and what to wiggle to make all that derobing look appealing (and not like you're falling into bed after a long day of breastfeeding and dishwashing and you absolutely can't bear to have those soy butter stained socks on for another freaking minute).
Obviously, you have to take your shoes off to take your stockings off. And once the stockings are off, there must be careful tip-toeing to ensure that the leg looks just as long and lovely as it did in heels. This sounds easy, but after posing with a taut leg and pointed toe and then doing lots of tippy-toe sashaying and shimmying, this mama had sore old calves for days!
The good thing is, this is fabulous, real-life know-how. I mean, how many times have you taken care to wear scintillating panties and then ended up yanking them off and throwing them in the hamper at the end of the night? (Go on. Everyone nod your head with understanding). With a little ba-da-boom music, a slick little posed thigh-high removal and a sling shot of the lingerie to the hot papa in the front row, honey, all that pulling on, yanking, sucking in and primping could definitely be worth it. Something to ponder while you're wearing those boring old Barely Theres.
Although I was a little sad the dance was stripped, I was happy and sweaty and satisfied to learn how to pull off and fling around those chubbers-roll-pinching thigh-highs while seated seductively on the floor or from a very-balanced stance, should I ever choose to wear them and then of course, take them off. And I have to admit, I feel quite pleased with myself for having those skills under my garter belt.
Speaking of garter belt...that's up in two weeks. Meow!